Solitude

Before I begin, I’d like to make sure you all know the difference between solitude and loneliness. It might seem like a little thing but it makes a huge difference.

solitude (noun): “the state or situation of being alone”

loneliness (noun): “sadness because one has no friends or company”

I’ll also put it into my own words in case that definition isn’t clear enough. Solitude is simply the act of being alone. It basically means that no one else is with you. It doesn’t say anything about how you feel. You can have a peaceful solitude and enjoy it or you can have a *cough* bleak solitude *cough*.

Meanwhile, loneliness is the pain felt when you are alone. It’s usually sadness and can often lead into depression pretty easily, but then again, there are other factors that come into play. Loneliness by itself can not cause depression yet it can be one of those said factors.

With that being said, they are two different things yet one can bleed into the other. You can feel sad about being alone yet transition to accepting it or vice versa. And this brings me to the whole point of this little post of mine.

Lately, I’ve been eating lunch alone. Due to some things I’d rather not discuss right now, I’m friendless. I’ve been sitting alone for the past week and a half. At first, I felt awkward. I felt like people were going to single me out and laugh at me. I felt like someone was going to come up to me and ask me what was wrong. I was just paranoid as fuck.

But within a few days, I calmed down. Why? I kept myself busy. A little homework here. Some there. Reading a book. Getting ready for my next class. It helped. It eased my loneliness and now, I can actually enjoy sitting alone at lunch. Although, it would have been nice to sit with other people my age. Oh, well, it is my last year of high school, after all. I can stomach as much.

So, next time you feel lonely, remember, a book is a great place to lose yourself in. And also, it wouldn’t hurt to get ready for the future, too. Your older self will thank you for all the time you put into doing your homework and studying. I’m not even kidding, here. It’s important. Well, then, thanks for reading and have a nice day/night!

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