Written on June 24, 2015
“Mind control (also known as brainwashing, reeducation, coercive persuasion, thought control, or thought reform) is a theoretical indoctrination process which results in “an impairment of autonomy, an inability to think independently, and a disruption of beliefs and affiliations.”
I was starting to think no one would request this topic, but here it is! Before I get into this, though, I’d like you all to go back and read the part in this book called “lying/deception”. The ideas in this chapter will be very much related to that part and I’d like to make sure we’re all on the same page here.
Read it? Good. Well, this is not as big of a problem as it used to be but it’s still there. The delicate line between hating yourself and hating the world. For me, I suffered a lot with this issue. I used to either think a) I was worthless and everyone was better than me or b) I loved myself but hated the cruel world. It was just so hard to find a balance between it.
I was either depressed or angry. No in-between. No other option. I used lies to sway myself from one way to another.
My inner voice would go: “They don’t really care about you like I do. Let them be and just be with me.”
Yes, I used to have conversations with myself. Call me a loon if you want but it’s true. I’d talk to myself, in my head, mind you, and I’d argue as well. This conscience of mine was trying to help me by exposing my lies. Telling me that I was brainwashing myself and trying to save me from myself.
Wow. I’m already confused writing this. So yeah… mental issues are not fun. I’m glad I’m mostly past that brain control stage. Nowadays, I just write everything out so I don’t have any emotions left to feel. Or I’ll binge on anime until my brain goes numb. Music always helps too. As long as I don’t leave my mind alone for too long or let it think too much, I’m safe. So yeah, thanks for requesting that topic and have a groovy day. (Yes, I just said groovy. Do you have a problem with that?)