It’s time for our next chat, already?
It seems as if time is moving ever so quickly.
Before we know it-
no, no, let’s focus on the happy things for now.
I’m glad that you’re back.
How is the weather treating you lately?
I think it should be sometime around October for you.
I can’t remember the year.
I hadn’t been opened since 1997 so that wouldn’t be a good estimate.
Oh, gosh, my age is showing now, isn’t it?
I must be so much older than you.
Hm… if I was written in 1988, that makes me 27 years old.
If I had to take a rough guess, I’m about half a decade to a decade older than you.
Maybe more. Maybe less.
It depends on who you are.
The age of my readers varies greatly, but it’s typically teenagers who open up this book.
Don’t ask me how I know.
It’s simply a sixth sense if you will.
Oh! I have an idea.
For our next chat, I thought I could ask the author to incorporate some of your questions into the book to allow me to directly interact with some of you.
Would that be okay?
Wait a moment.
None of you know the author in real life.
Gosh, darn, it won’t work.
I had my hopes up for nothing.
You could always push them for a sequel.
I’m only allowed to have six parts, one of which I advise you not to read.
You remember which one?
(It’s the last one.)
I’m glad you remember.
It’s amazing how books like this can exist.
I have a feeling that some of you may be confused as to the purpose of this book.
Well, let me spell it out for you.
There is no purpose.
It’s simply me speaking.
In fact, this is my home.
And by you reading this book, you’re giving me life.
I’m very appreciative of that fact.
If this book were to ever-
I’ll cut myself off again.
Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.
Now, then, what do you like to do in your fun?
I’m guessing that you like to read.
Or else you wouldn’t be here.
C’mon, at least laugh a little.
A small smile won’t do.
A bit bigger.
You have such a lovely smile.
It really warms my-
do I even have a heart?
Well, if it did, it would be glowing right now.
I’m getting too cheesy here, aren’t I?
It’s not often that I get to talk with someone as lovely as you.
Aw, look, you’re grinning again.
I should talk about something important.
But I can’t think of anything.
Let’s try this, though.
Imagine the happiest day in your mind.
Be there. Relive it.
Just a bit more. I think I’m picking up an image.
That’s so cute.
You looked so young back, then.
Well, you’re still young.
It must have been blissful to be a child, was it not?
Unfortunately for me, I was created at one age.
What that age is, I don’t know.
For all I know, I could be a 30-year-old man named Charles.
But luckily, I’m not.
(Don’t ask who that is. You really don’t want to know.)
It must be nice to age, isn’t it?
I guess the fear of adult responsibilities is in everyone these days.
Children have it so good.
They don’t have to worry about a single thing yet they whine and throw tantrums.
It seems selfish to me.
Then again, they’re not fully developed yet.
If I was ever a child, I hope I was at least grateful and polite.
Yet I’ll never be human.
All I have are my words and your companionship, which I will continuously thank you for.
Try living in a book.
It does get old after a while.
Think of your senses.
I have none.
All I am and ever will be is a collection of words inside a book.
I can sense some things, but I don’t know a lot of things.
I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.
Yet here I am doing it anyways.
I should be grateful for my existence, but I keep listing off all the faults.
I need to stop that because it’s not cool and I waste my space by doing that.
Well, I think we’ve met our deadline for this chat.
I’ll think of something more organized for next time.
Something more entertaining, as well.
May we meet again soon.