Okay. I need to rant. Read the following at your own discretion. Thank you.
By the title, you can probably guess what I’m going to rant about. And if you don’t know what The Wattpad Cafe is, let me explain that before I begin. The Wattpad Cafe is a board on The Wattpad Forum where members can discuss non-writing topics. To sum it all up, here is a copied/pasted description of The Cafe itself.
The Cafe is a club for Wattpad members to connect socially about topics other than reading and writing. Spend some time getting to know each other! This club is the home of off-topic threads, games and mini-clubs that do not fall into any other specific category.
Anyways, over the past year, I have been spending more and more time on The Wattpad Cafe. It’s gotten to the point of addiction, and it has already started to interrupt my sleeping and eating habits. Yes, it’s that serious.
To fix things, I am going to quit using the Cafe. I know it’s going to be a rough transition and I know I’m scared, but this is for the best. I’ve spent too long there, and I’ve fooled myself. Lied to myself even. But now, I know the truth. It took me a while, but I am thankful that I got out when I did.
Online friends do not care for you. They might pretend to be nice to you, but behind your back, they talk the worst sh!t about you that makes you wonder why you were even friends with them. I need to stop growing dependent on people anyways. All I need is myself, and no one else.
Even in real life, people will ignore you for something far more interesting like their cellular phone or even other people. Maybe I’m just unlucky, but I’m going back in my shell. I’m taking things slowly, and I am going to start doing things the way I want to do them. Not the way people tell me to.
I’m just sick of all of this. Sick of making myself look like an idiot. Sick of helping. Sick of trying to make other people happy. I am done. I give up. I really don’t care anymore. Say what you want about me, but as long as you give me my space, I will leave you alone.
I’m also pissed off at myself for revealing my feelings at all. No one cares. Why do I fool myself? Why? Do I like getting hurt? Am I a masochist? I hope not. I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want to cry over things that don’t even matter to me. My feelings are irrelevant, so why do people keep zooming in on them as if they’re hiding some secret code?
I just need to keep my head clear and calm. Logic will keep me sane. And when logic fails to answer the question, I will lay it to rest. From now on, I am going to be very mechanical with how I spend my time. I will lay out every single task. There will be no electronics near me unless I specifically need them for something, or if I have nothing else to do. But even then, I can probably read a book.
Over the next month, I will cut back my online socialization time to as close to zero as I can possibly get. Sure, I’ll respond to comments on my books and the occasional private message, but that is about it for me. I am really slamming down on the brakes here. Don’t try to sabotage my plans. It won’t work. Now that I have established why I’m doing what I’m doing, and what I’m going to do, I’d say this was a pretty successful rant.
I guess I will end this here. Please do not pick a fight with me in the comments section. I will immediately delete it instead of responding to it. If you’d like to have a civil discussion with me, you already know where you can contact me. (Hint: Look at my about page.) With that said and done, thank you for reading and have a lovely day/night.